...this makes me sad...

Work on the new Champaign store will start in March and should be completed by early fall, according to Ralph Sackett, a partner of the shopping center's developer, Robeson Crossing Inc.

guess what they are talking about. *sniff*

...okay, someone needs chocolate!...

allright man, i am now missing the countryside science fair because i am "doing homework". Actually i will be soon.

In the meantime, a hate-list:

1) parents stressing me over school/academics
2) me stressing myself over school/academics
3) me stressing about stuff i don't need to be, like ummm yeah.
4) when people are really vague on their blogs. hehe jjk just being hypocritical

Oh speaking of that there was a group of kids at my studio talking and hanging out during a break that we had in rehearsal yesterday, like the 11/12 year old type people. and they were trying to explain the meaning of hypocritical to each other, by using lots and lots of examples that were really annoying. so then michelle (J.) goes : OR IT COULD BE LIKE ALL OF YOU SAYING HOW MUCH YOU HATE NOISY KIDS!!! and i was like w00t go michelle.

P.S. number 3 is really really broad now that i look at it.

...doopahdoodley doooooo...

Yep so today was agora days. I knit a lot more than i do on an average day. but i only have about...yep 11 inches. which is sad because i knit pretty much the whole day and it is thick yarn. and really easy and mindless. so yeah...

And there was some eddie izzard quote that i was like "whoa that would make a good t-shirt!" but i forgot it. maybe i'll remember tomorrow, yeah right.

and tomorrow bright and early i get to take the math quest! i'm really scared, even though everyone's like no no you'll be fine, and i feel bad about stressing because i'm taking it so late....but still, i heard the comments after it. Julie reassured me about it, and in doing so she basically told me about the specific problems, and i was like STOP DON'T TELL ME ABOUT IT I DON'T WANT TO CHEAT. because i know i would feel really guilty. heh she did anyways.

And now it is time to...study for that, go to ballet class (still uber-sore) and then when i come back i guess i will make sure i GET the math *cough cough* bug mo about it, and try to arrange stuff for this weekend. because stuff really needs to happen. yep, w00t for being vague. And hopefully knit some more. yay! I really like knitting.

P.S. Japanese was totemo awesome...even though rose completely ditched me!!! ehem.

P.P.S. my abs are so sore it is PAINFUL to cough. but don't worry, i'm not sick anymore....lalala.

...plans for today...

allrighty peoples this is the list:

-finish up with all the copying/hwk stuff that i can, make sure i am as caught up as i can be
-get history/physics notes
-figure out what i am doing for Stich and Bitch agora class
-go for some SEX because i don't have like, ANYTHING at all.
-while we're in the shopping mode, i need some pants (though i might FORGET this part of the list)
-start reading my totemo hyperchouette hottly awesome dude men P+P book that is hott. have i mentioned it's hott?
-lalala nothing nothing nothing because there is soooo nothing to do today
-ooh actually check out the new walgreen plans, maybe there is an ending date online.
-alright i think i am running out of things to say.
-although there are so many new inside jokes for us exclusivist people....

...this is so unfair...

I could be having TONS OF FUN but no my parents decide this is the ONE NIGHT they have to go out, and I must babysit. It's not like I ever do anything when I babysit anyways, just aim usually. And I can't do that now, because practically EVERYONE I talk to is being where I am not. And its not like my dad even wants to go to this thing. So dumb.

Also, I probably can't do potential stuff on monday, and nothing seems to be working out for sunday, and I don't even want to begin to talk about yesterday, so in total, this weekend SUCKS. And it was supposed to be the really O-m-g-I-like-being-really-really-social weekend before agora, because it is 3.5 days and stuff. ARRRRRG. not working. And what's worse, my previous sickness, which is so over, is not really, because it is still ruining things. The only word i can think of right now is arg. Man....

Toodlediedooooo

...it's a mad world...

Why does everyone always have to be mad at me....! mad mad mad. For everything I do. It's like... I know I'm not perfect, and in fact am far from it, but I generally have good intentions. I try... I guess I don't try hard enough. Somehow this seems to apply to everything. School, Dance, Friends.... mainly school. and friends....? I don't know. I mean, am I a lazy bum that just sits at home doing nothing and caring about nothing/nobody? I don't think so. I care. A lot.

Okay I know my life is really good and I shouldn't complain, but its not like if i sit and do nothing my life will be happy and wonderful. Obviously my life isn't happy and wonderful, so maybe I should try that. There are some people, that live their life, and without too much effort, be really happy about it most of the time. And obviously i am not one of them. Because PEOPLE ARE MAD AT ME. Its so aggravating. because i try so hard, and then i just get yelled at. and no, the yelling is not bad. its the stares that just make me feel so DUMB. like I did something HORRIBLE. Did I? Have I just been living this whole life, the wrong way? or something? I want to try harder. but i can't. I sometimes wonder.... whatever. haha that sounds really suicidal, and no that is not what i sometimes wonder about. you will never know.

I guess I should try harder in school. Do my ACT preps like a good girl. Trod up and down the stairs of uni everyday, being perfect. Then I can go home, and do some math. And maybe occassionally some other homework. I should then spend the rest of my time doing something wonderful and productive. like...volunteering. or....i don't know some extra curricular that is somehow better than dance. preferably something that doesnt make me feel good, so that i don't get too obsessed with it. because we wouldn't want that. Something mthat makes me look good and asian. Playing the violin. (sorry cool violin players, you are cool. but you know that IS stereotypical)

Maybe if i didnt need friends my life would be good. Like I'm sure my parents would be happier. If I didn't have this want, this need, to talk to people all the time. and listen. I don't care, I just want people. Its insane. I am not one of those people that can go through a day without that. talking, laughing, just hanging out. I used to be. did I? no. maybe not. god this post is so sucky.

I don't mean to rant. I don't like ranting to people, out loud, I don't like complaining. But i guess i complain anyways.

I guess i just wish, that somehow i could be that perfect girl. And then...I don't know what would happen. but maybe it would be better. I would be perfect, and i would always care about everything, think of everything. I would totemo get an A in math. but then i have one now too (score!) Okay no, people should appreciate that i am good just the way I am. and that i DO try. just because i fail does not mean i am a bad person.

*sigh* i feel better now. I love you all, i just needed to say that. although i still need reassurance that i am not a bad person/friend. hehe that is what beno is for. *hug*

P.S. This post was not, contrary to popular belief i'm sure, all about ariana. but i did think about leaving tof for a while, in the thought process.

P.P.S. I decided against it.

...if you wanna go and take a ride wit me...

hey! must be da money!.... dude ariana you have to remind me what you thought that was again, because it was hilarious. remember, at the dance, hmmmmm.

OMFG i am so happy. This morning i had a fever of 102.1, now it is sooo gone, it was 98.2 at some point. which means i have like negative feverishness or something. cr00000000t. And now all that is wrong with me is really runny/stuffy nose and itchy eyes. oh yeah and i still cough my lungs out on a regular basis. all i have to do is not laugh, and i won't cough TOO much. hahahaha. as if i could go to school and not laugh once. maybe i won't go to lunchbuddies, or beatles club...or math class for that matter. or bio. or history. or physics. or french. man, i think i just determined that i don't laugh during p.e. and english. that is probably accurate. actually i laugh a lot during pe. haha sucks to be you, english class. yes so anyways slight sickness.

but i can TOTALLY deal with that. i feel soooo un-crappy. I am so happy!!! its crazy how much i missed school. like i didn't even realize it until now. And i like knowing i was missed....;) . I am not going to the orch./chorus concert i think. i will do math hwk instead. joy. omg i am so happy i am not as sick...please higher being don't let me be sick tomorrow morning...maybe i will wake up extra early so i can take a long shower and drink T on my cr00ton while listening to music. which usually makes me feel better.

wow I haven't been this happy in a while. w000000000t. yayyyyyyy! I feel like dancing. lalala. break it down!!!! yay.

I will sooo not let my mom ruin weekend plans. she wants me to go to that israeli concert, but tof. haha literally. and my dad says he has teh pictures in his backpack. yayyyyy.

All i need now is for the math to take less than the normal 5 minutes.... yep i'm sure it will. oh well its just review. for a 50 point quest. Quest sounds like its harder than just test. kinda like tiz sounds way easier than a quiz. oh well guess what my math grade is??? an AAAAAA. a fucking AAAA!!! yes!!! actually not after that last test. oh well. tof!

wow okay i really need to calm down. time for homework. I will see you all....sooner than i thought, hopefully!!!



Edit:

Okay so maybe not. still feel less crappy, but i now realize how crappy this still is compared to normal school days. and how my hwk is not done. and yes a fever came back. only very small but in the morning it will be big, i'm sure. :( its sad i know. Oh well I can be relieved about not HAVING HAVING HAVING to finish all possible hwks tonight. maybe i will go to sleep semi early so that I can go to school thursday. And I know that if i do not go to school friday i not only will not have a senior year (junior skip day! ;)) but SOMEONE will kill me. hehe jjk. allright dudes peace out.

...I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes...

*cough cough*

Yes I am staying home from school today, it sucks. Ewwww I hate being sick. Its really really awful. Although I was bound to get it eventually, in the past month EVERYONE has been sick at least once. Dude I was totally gonna go to school today. Like last night I was coughing a lot and I felt like crap but I was gonna just tough it out and survive, except maybe go home for english and french, lalala. Because those classes are the ones that are hardest to sit through when you are sick, because there is nothing to do but sit there and be sick. Plus they are at the end of the day. But anyways this morning I woke up and I felt even worse. and I have a fever. Blechhhhh.

Happy Valentines day everybody!!! At first I was slightly bummed that I need to miss V-day at school, but guess what is SO much more romantic than school.....PRIDE AND PREJUDICE WITH COLIN FIRTH. yes way better. Oh haha certain studio vending machine items remain in my backpack humdedum. Okay I'll shut up now.

Okay more plans for today, I think I will get caught up with the rest of the world by watching the most-quoted movie on the face of the universe. or at least the UNIverse. haha i think i need sleep that was lame. Also do lots of homework. Someone will need to explain the math notes to me because I looked at some of the problems and I don't really know how to do them, surprise surprise. Math class is currently happening. I'm sure I am missing out on lots of fun. (actually I probably am, not being sarcastic). Also sleep, a lot.

*cough cough* bleeeeccccccchhhhhhhhhhhh.

allrighty toodles then.

...I was gonna put some song quote here but I forgot...

"There is nothing better than to breathe an escaped, errant hint of spring, come so early its intoxication is dangerous."--Tom's Blog

That is so perfectly true in every way. Why can't I be that articulate...

Today after dance, I waited for my mom outside. I didn't need my coat, I didn't even really need my sweatshirt. And I could SMELL spring. SOOOO much. It also doesn't help that I totally remember hanging out endlessly around the studio during the summer, whether with dance friends or schoolio peoples (Burwash park and Dairy queeN anybody?) I was reminded of that. A lot. Oh well, there is more time left in the school year than there is during summer right??? Nyargle.

Also today, I felt really tired while "reading" the flowchart reading, so I decided to go to sleep. I had nothing that I wanted to do except sleep, and I haven't slept because I want to in forever. I always go to sleep late at night when homework is ALWAYS still on my mind. That really sucks. Anyways, I went to sleep at 5:30. Woke up at 7:30, endlessly confused as I always am after naps. I might just go to sleep again now, because there is nothing to do but the physics homework I don't understand. And several more hours of homework, but those are for tomorrow. Humdedum. My tiredness is really weird. It kinda feels like I cried for a really long time, not fun. Don't worry I didn't. Lalalalala.

Today I was forced to think about college. And then the "ballet class at 1:30" fairy came to rescue me. I love it when that happens. Although my mom threatened to not let me go if I didn't cooperate. Well I'm sorry I don't have the next 5 years of my life planned out guys. I just don't. I was gonna ROFTAC, but I was too tired. see? I need sleep, I can't even make the college experience fun anymore. Ha. Hahahahaha. as if I ever could/ever will.

Desperately wanting school/college to go away,

Love, Noam

...it is almost za Veekend!...

more like it is. humdedum.

Finally the week is over. I have tons of stuff to do. However, thinking about agora days and partying is making me feel like there is some sort of big break coming soon, but there isn't. Agora days is supposed to be a break but apparently they are allowed to give us "one night's worth of hwk" WTF? since when did they invent that rule? and its probably gonna be fine for most classes, but if JOCKUSCH hears about this rule? holy crap that will suck. you get....just as much hwk as on a regular week, except more because the other classes arent giving as much. oh man please don't do that jockusch we love you!...kinda.

Man there have been good quotes this week....hmmmz. I don't know i don't really remember them. Although I am thoroughly enjoying the YOUR MOM obsession with lillian, because it is really fun. YOUR MOM'S BEST FRIEND! YOUR MOM'S RIBS!!! OMG. (to all those out of the circle of life (everyone probably), you don't want to know. but it is HILARIOUS)

OMFG. today, my father was once more late getting ready for school (SURPRISE) so he just dropped me off straight at P.E. cuz otherwise i would have been late. (that would be so tragic, late to p.e. oh well) Anyways, I had my backpack with me. After pe, I walked back happily to school with Lillian, with about 3 minutes to spare till the second bell. So it was all good. UNTIL I REALIZED I HAD FORGOTTEN MY BACKPACK AT KENNEY. I sprinted back to kenney, which was totally not pleasant because it was really cold and really hot at the same time, and then i sprinted back, which was not only uber-yucky temperature wise, I had a huge backpack on that was really hard to run with. thankfully i got to go up the elevator with a group of seniors coming from PE and merf had let them out late so kovacs excused us all. but it was gross. a wonderful start to an otherwise mundane day.

and....the valentine's day dance was cancelled. so all my excitement about rehearsal being cancelled so that I can finally not be really gross before a dance......is dumb. now i have:
-no rehearsal
-no dance
-nobody will be online just take my word for it, with my luck
-nobody to hang out with
-NOTHING TO DO (other than hwk and that is just dumb.)

SEE? I have no life. And with that I leave you to the wonderful thing we like to call "sleep". or maybe the not-so-wonderful thing we call "aim". we'll see.

...time to make blog time...

humdedumdedum. What to do on such a gorgeous day but homework and more homework! and blog posting. Actually it's a pretty ugly day. But it is not as egregiously cold as it has been. Or at least I think so... I haven't actually been outside.

Rose and I invented a new online phrasish thing....fors00th. oh man argadoodles you can't see it....damn this font. here: fors00th. ther ya go. it is so w00tly cr00tly c00l and h0ttly awes0me. how's that for excessive zero usage?


Nyways....people seem excessively stressed this weekend. I am not excluding myself from the list, but if you are reading this, you are probably one of the people that I am referring to. MAN its like the stress monster came out from under the bed and decided to kill us all. And the stress monster wants us to kill each other...

Please cheer up everyone. Its hard but we can do it. happiness!!!! (don't be one.) ;)

...dude, integrals...

I'm so confused. My emotions are so weird sometimes, I swear. Like radically different day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. Its weird, because sometimes I think there are things terribly wrong, and then I look back and I feel stupid, I cannot remember a single horrible thing. Don't be such a drama queen! (ooh i need to watch mean girls man.)

It's not worth being emotional? I dunno. Relationships change, but do you just sit there and do nothing even if you are really worried? I don't want to feel tied down. However, I still can't do anything about it. Don't say I look for drama. I just want things to be good.

Angel of Mine is stuck in my head. I didn't even know i knew that song. But it is really sappy. Hehe oh well.

I like how I manage to stay up late and still survive the school day. It's quite fun actually. PARTAY! hmmm nobody to party with... how lame. Dude men, I can tell this is a successful blog post already. Very fun. Random and emotional, just what I love. Or not.

How you changed my world you'll never know
I'm different now you helped me grow
You came into my life, sent from above
When I lost all hope you showed me love....Angel of mine.

See I told you it was sappy.

P.S. I am really excited about studio teaching. It is my favorite thing ever. and guess what? private lessons w00t. cr00t!

P.P.S. those don't look like zeros. What a lame fontaroo.