...ergh...

well, arg. my gaa. i'm still shaking from this morning. i was....stressed. holy shit i thought i was going to die. emotionally at least. *cry*. arrrrrrrrrrgh.

heh, sorry for being so vague. i guess i'm just posting so i remember this. (although i bet i will anyways)

mmmmm shaking. *sigh*. not good. not good at all.

i should be more appreciative of my life on a daily basis. *smile*. arrrrrrgh. byebye.

P.S. arrrrrrrrrgh.

...fireworks are really sparkly...

some people are setting fireworks off. and, however illegal it may be, its REALLY pretty. they're the kind of ones that kind of sparkle down as they fall. sort of like shooting stars. yayyyyy, its really beuatiful.

ehem today my parents weren't home. so i studied for my sat iis. enough said about that i think.

this weekend: its sucked but it will be okay. yayyyyy almost done. i should do that bio project. oh well.

:D. fear sucks, but when its over, you realize how fun it is. like, adrenaline rush. very similar to being on stage. although i might say that consequences to this situation could have been worse than forgetting a step or falling on your face in front of 100s of people....:/. but man, i kinda liked that, now that i think about it. i was freakin' scared, but laughing virtually the whole time. in a "holy crap nooooo i'm gonna die" kinda way. haha.

ehem, i said 'nuff said, thank you very much. :D. hahahaha. ehem. lalalalala.

umz yeah. math satii is hard. calculators are good though. time to leave.

...oh man, genious...

here are some first lines of songs put into "lost in translation" (http://www.tashian.com/multibabel/). can you guess what the original song is?



all had looked like yesterday my difficulties in the left until now

Much that I can say that my duration is to something normal, like
watchin the rain of the meeting of the magma

the bud of zellulare of the telephone, water was used of one the end
to give to form to those for lozione of the destroyed boy

They are in the fogos and the this task that the hour that is aspects
for the use, the end to make to blow upon a movement

The words fly to the external part like rain without the extremity in
a Papiercup, he more when slither, when to exceed, distant flowing he
moved far from the universe. (pretty easy....)

I consider here that all it sees the love, this that sleeps during my
long walk of easy Guitarre. (pretty easy too...)

They can modify its duration, where you can modify to him dressed his

if the too much then light is ulteriorly, inside ignition is not
illuminated (hahahaha)

that the relative extremity of the world, because we know it them and
to odore of I it leaves they many pluggings him

somebody said that you he had a friend, that one to me was similar to
a friend, of whom that one I had annually in February of the past (oh man, thats wayyy too easy)


moon robs he it and it trusts it to the game that I influences
underneath the first paper

yeah okay thats enough. hehehe.

...ladeda...

I just wrote a post, including a letter to my mother, that i am by no means posting. however, i am having parent problems. and i just want them to END. right now. but it feels like i have no control over them.

in general, i just feel like a slacker. in every aspect of my life. which is why when my parents yell that i don't try enough it hurts a lot, because i concur completely. the meanest comments are always the ones that you agree with deep down. :(.

on a lighter note:
today after school (after a stressful french class might i add) they rang the bell. and again, and again, and again. heh, those silly seniors. but they're gone. that's it, its done. FOR THEM, i still have oodles of stress. actually, they do too.

humdedum de dum. i should probably go do stuff, i have tons to do. teehee, time to study. maybe i can organize an SAT ii party on monday. hopefully. byebyez all.

...guess what!...

I'm on fire, and now I think I'm ready to bust a move
Check it out I'm rockin' steady!

actually, jjk. but betty won't stop listening to modern rock, doncha know?

hehe, how many times has this song been stuck in my head this year? mrs. jockusch would have to use calculus to count all of them.

arg, this french thing is sucky to format. its like...nooo too many tabs...etc. and it doesn't work. Microsoft Word is pissing me off! humph. wouldn't it be cool to have a child or friend or something by the name of humphrey, whose nickname is humph, and then whenever you are frustrated you can confuse them, thus calming yourself slightly? what a mean thought. haha, you know i would do that though; "no-one" and "no" sayers everywhere, DIE.

Just today it kinda kicked in...5 days left. No, seriously, 5. I mean it, really. AAAAAA. hah, this year has been so long! but 5. thats sooo close. i can't even say "so close but so far" anymore, cuz its not so far! and the french final won't be too bad, so the only one i will end up studying for is fiziks. joy.

ooh lemme practice generic yearbook signing:

Dear humphrey,
I love you so much, and i don't really remember what class we had together, but i'm sure i know you from somewhere! we had sooooo many inside jokes together! i... can't remember any of them *giggle*, maybe there weren't any actually, since you are my arch-nemesis. I don't know why i can't write a page, but i guess i'm not creative enough. heehee. or maybe its cuz i pretty much hate you. remember, i love you! Have a WONDERFUL summer, and call me at least twelve times a day, on my cell: 273-2394, my home phone: 386-4098, my work (summer job!) phone: 478-5049, or my sister's boyfriend's house! 393-5847. I know you ate my science fair project last year for lunch, and told all my friends all about why i am on certain posters at the post office, but i think we can totally be friends again anyways! Have a great summer, and see you next year as seniors! omg!
LYLAS ( i mean it!) , your least favorite person, Roam Q. Noth.


yep, those are fun.

P.S. don't call any of those phone numbers, cuz i made them up. actually it would be funny if you did...

...this post is dedicated to edo roth...

who is by far the coolest little brother the world has seen.
and he has a hott voice.

no seriously, my brother kicks booty! he was so good....and he's so cool. and i'm so proud of him...
in other news, linda boyce was in it, so i saw her on the program and i was like hey, i know her brother, and then i looked up, and IMMEDIATELY found her, and was like whoooooaa.

good israeli song stuck in head. can't quite type it out can i...:( .
childhood hero died. moment of silence for uzi chitman. you guys can't imagine how cool he was. *sniff*. man.....

oh yeah, and at the concert, julie strauss' mom told me that julie was probably going to sign up for my tap class. my tap class! i have my class! teacher! and that scares me...cuz...i am responsible for more now. not that i am not capable! haha. ehem. like how lauren weisbaum told me once that she thought i was really mature and didn't see how i was the same age as her because i seemed so adult all the time. and i actually thought she was joking and loled. but she was being serious, i don't get people. heh, just ask ANY of my friends...not too adult. heh. oh well, i have to savor my childhood experiences. i suppose i act more maturely at the studio. no weirdo friends there...

yearbook coming out today made me feel sad and really happy at the same time. i'm going to really miss people. and now we are closer to graduating....class of '06! so i will miss everyone then too. can't believe we will be seniors. but on the other hand, summer is coming, and even after that, a chance for new beginnings, a fresh start, almost like starting life over again. except not at all ;). summer will be so....good. even if i complain about it or am sad or whatever, dear reader, don't believe me. it will legitimately be good. at least better than this year, *throws up*. (17 bajillion vomits, thank you very much)

i think that this year, i haven't gotten more depressed. just more emotional in general. actually no, just expressive of my emotions. i seemed to notice more things in life, i guess its part of growing up. noticing the details. how life can be in so many little ways so very beautiful, and sometimes so very sad. and all of a sudden noticing new things in life was a big blow i suppose. but its good, because life is so complex, and nobody has ever understood it all. each year, you have to widen the window that you look through to the outside world. but widening a lot at the same time can be blinding. it hurts your eyes so much, but it can be breathtaking too. and breathtaking is as breathtaking does. (how's that for a statement that says absolutely nothing!)

french makeup work beckons to me! my goal is to complete all of my missed work and hopefully have a 150% by the end of the quarter. :D. i had a 138% at some point! wow, lopez. although our final is oral. we don't know what/how though. no not that kind of oral you dirty dirty person. pervs, all of you. (haha, actually just me)

Love, Noam

...humphety dumphety...

well, i have to go to my brother's chorus concert, even though i have oodles of hwk. so of course the two excuses/threats are AIM and dance. but yeah...i guess i'll have time. i need the year to be over. i don't like it when things are close enough to taste, but...so far away!!! *breathes in, breathes out*.

today was a pretty happy day. and life was doubly good, due to the shirt coordination of michael pitt and domier. and, we got yearbooks. fun fun fun.

ugh. time to go. i hope singing is pretty, i bet it will be.

Love, Noam

...in a long while...

Breathe in for luck,
breathe in so deep,
this air is blessed,
you share with me.
This night is wild,
so calm and dull,
these hearts they race,
from self control.
Your legs are smooth,
as they graze mine,

we're doing fine,
we're doing nothing at all.



My hopes are so high,
that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me,
so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.

The words are hushed lets not get busted;
just lay entwined here, undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"hey did you get some?"
Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear...
so we can get some.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
the dim of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers
and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
and this walk that we shared together.
The streets were wet
and the gate was locked so I jumped it,
and I let you in.
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist

and you kissed me like you meant it.

And I knew that you meant it,
that you meant it,
that you meant it,
and I knew,
that you meant it,
that you meant it.



except not really the best day. hands down.

...as i was saying...

so yeah, recital good. this was basically because friday was like....PERFECT. everyone *cough* andrew was sooo good. the only problem was during becky and andrew's adage, i think my mouth fell open during the lift. and i was onstage. oh well.

and then i went to the cast party, and the second steak and shakian cast party. dave was our waiter, and i felt sorry for him/everyone else within a 3 mile radius.

and yesterday, i went to the water gun party, to complete my post-recital stress removal. it was fun. oh yeah, i had my first cheesburger *woohoo*. and i played in carle park for the first time in forever. *nostalgia*. urbana is way better.

Then, i got home and decided that no, the partying was not over. so magically i was allowed to go biking, which i did, and that was way fun yay. k it was kinda dramatic at points. but still, fun. and now my shoulders are all burnt . how fun is that?

major accomplishment: cleared/sorted out ALL of my e-mail since....subbie year i think. or summer after. and looking through the "friends" folder....man, i have some WEIRD friends. hehe i love you. but you are sooo weird. PERU! our class gets angry about the dumbest things....

also, speaking of old emails....

"Heart of Darkness -- OH GOD DIE

Things Fall Apart -- hahahahahah YAMS    "


says mo. and DUDE. in bio, we watched this GMO movie, and like...1/8th
of it was about YAMS! IN AFRICA! and how they are an important staple! so i
was happy. i kinda loled though, and nobody understood why. hehe.


COUNTDOWN (not to college) : 6 days + finals

...in summary: a wonderful recital...

yep. it was really good. i am so happy right now. but first, quotes before i forget them (no you won't get them, they are only really for me. sorry!) :

Ethan: you have really hairy cheese! (hehe, pulp...)

Daniela: nekked! i'm getting nekked!

Michelle: omg you guys should tell the story about daniela getting nekked in the dressing room and then mor needing to get her makeup on and she opened the door and daniela was like 'nooo' and it was soo funny!
Everyone: michelle, you just told it.

Mor: lauren, don't tell him we're gay. (mor about her...boyfriend?)

Alison: Michelle, Miss fluffykins called and said you have her kitty's collar!

Alison: Michelle, you don't have enough accessories............ i can't insult you!
Lauren: oh, i thought that was the insult.

k, can't think of anymore. my stomach's still sore though, so you know i laughed waayy more than just that.

That recital was really good. i was really happy. but for now, sweet dreams.

P.S. i cheated you out of a post....:P but i'll post when i'm procrastinating tomorrow...after the water gun partay!!! hehe.

P.P.S. colette, sarah, ariana and yuzi thanks for coming!!! and everyone else. sensei was so sweet.....

...hmmm...

indicative of everyone's attitude towards the history paper?

Dark Kitten God: but now im going back to wrk
Dark Kitten God: brb

hmmz, we are all slackers. especially me :D

i'm trying to find what music keeps me motivated the most on papers. so far ballet(classical basically) and hilary duff are winning. thats kinda sad...there's so much good music that i can't write to. not saying hilary duff is bad or anything....

so i should go back to work. hahaha. well, i actually should. wish me luck!

...miss understood...

oooh quote from dinner:

Father: mrs. doey also says that they will give a math book to you ella, and you too edo.
Me: all RIGHT! I'm the only one without a math book!
Father: you're hopeless.

well, there you have it folks, i'm hopeless. all my hopes and dreams fulfilled right there.

in other news:
- i have to write my history paper
- i have to figure out some more math
- i have to (onononono) survive this recital
- i have to run a 5k tomorrow, in class and with no friend-wise support
- i have to survive
- i have to deal with the fact that life is not a vcr (damn!)
- i have to put on a happy face

cuz there's....NO PEOPLE LIKE SHOW PEOPLE THEY SMILE WHEN THEY ARE LOW....

ehem. although i am kind of proud of the fact that, through all my years of dance, no matter how sucky i am, or how ugly/embarassingly terrible the dance is, i was always the only one smiling, always won the "only person in the whole room with a performance face" contests etc...
constant "everyone smile! like noam..." and stuff.

but i hate fake smiles. even though my parents always tell me that i look like i am fake-smiling, i never am. i always think of something fun or cool to have in mind so that its natural. hate those full of teeth neck clenching cheek murdering smiles. genuine all the way. eh, murders your cheeks anyways.


i will survive the next few weeks. because even if i get up every morning not wanting to get out of bed (guaranteed), and stay up late wanting to just leave NOW but no, still more hwk and studying and crap, even if i want to just stop right there and give the hell up, i will get through it because i always do and everyone always does and my life really, is quite easy. sorry that i always complain...hehe tough for you! (...) i always want to stop and give up, go to sleep, leave uni, leave friends, etc. actually i am kind of exaggerating. but anyways, i never do. i remember countless nights this year when i just would not keep going, i could not. but i did. obviously. so i guess i will. thats reassuring enough for me.

and just think. we are almost done with this hell they call junior year. its had its good times. but i won't say it hasn't lived up to its claim-to-fame. and by that i mean murderous depressing frustrating yucky bad bad bad times. (silly noam and her terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. )

after that there is summer. and i don't care about the stress it will hold and the doramas it surely will host, it is summer. and its happy. don't tell me you don't like summer weather because i will murder you because it is good. yay. no more yuck. and best of all...after drivers ed....i can...SLEEP IN. w00t. *sigh*

oh btw big show. was AWESOME. i loved it. it was hilarious. i laughed a lot. really laughed.

do long division


bye everyone!

P.S. catch any subliminal messages?
P.P.S. there were more than one. k? i really think so.

...bye bye miss american pie...

stuck in head. i didn't even hear it!

Dude, i'm soo going to big show tomorrow. the only problem is, it will be right after ballet rehearsal (omg, annoying audience!!!!!) and i will be gross and stuff. OH WELL. i *need* to see big show.

stuck in head.

hmmm what stuff has happened in my life lately you ask? nothing really. whoa, i just looked over and i saw a haggadah on the desk here, that was cowritten by someone named Noam, and it freaked me out. it always freaks me out when i see "Noam" written out because its so...not common. yay. Noam Chomsky is cool. heh, blog name. additionally, everyone thinks my name backwards in moan. well, its not. ha. its maon. which means shelter in hebrew. hopefully i am more shelter-like than moany. :)

we have lots of hwk. and next week is recital week so basically i am SCAREWWWWWWWED. but, i'll survive. 11+3 more days!



can't believe we'll be seniors next year. its gone by so fast, yet so slowly. i remember the first day of subbie year as if it were yesterday, but most details about the year itself are blurry. and people (including myself) have changed so much. wow, so much. it's funny, some people i can remember clearly, how they were subbie year, even how they were in like 3rd/4th grade (go yankee ridge!) . but some, not really. but i definitely know they have changed.

i know many more people than i thought i would, but i have forgotten some people. I don't remember who i used to hang out with. and i really really don't remember what i used to do after school. cuz i didn't have as much dance, and no way did i have as much hwk (no jockusch), and i didn't talk to people on the phone. or on aim. what the hell did i do??? maybe i read. no...not for that amount of time. i seriously have no idea, this freaks me out.

sometimes i want to leave school already and go out to start anew and stop having to be so restrained. but other times....i dunno. i still feel like a kid. and i want my friends, and even though i think i'm not, i really am rather attached to my way of life. the other day i realized that when i go to college, i will really miss my brother. *cry*. yes of course i will miss my parents and sister extremely, but my brother and i have an unstated connection, a sort of invisible love. we don't hang around eachother 24/7, but when we do we are AWESOME. and he's really cool. i really do like him, if i were his age and not his sister, i would try to hang out with him as much as possible. i think he would qualify as my favorite weirdo ;). wayyy better than dimitri and domier COMBINED. hahahahaha. ehem.

yeah so. edo. is cool. and noam will go to college. hah, if i get in.

and to do so i have to ace math, hence do this weekends hwk! (wow, good segway)

byebye peeps.

...nananananananananana...

will. not. bite. nails.
urgh. i'm trying to break that habit. working oh so well. ooooooooooops. well, it was for like a week and a half. oh well, 8 out of ten is good enough.

i don't really want to post. math hwk has been rather understandable lately. w00t.
in other news...ha, there is none.

but i am (hopefully) having an after disorientation picnic partay, so you should come, whoever you are. unless you are a stalkerish mean person. hate to discriminate though. :P. and yes it will be a trampoline party, with like, not that many people on the trampoline at once because of rules/parents.

annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd its sleep time. this was a wonderful post. oh man, i have to figure out what i am doing for big show....

...swing swing from the tangles of my heart...

prom was yesterday/today. yay! everyone was sooo pwetty.



in other news: we finished petit prince this past week, and i *heart* it. (wayyy more than love)
who does this remind you of? : "j'etais triste mais j'ai dit 'c'est la fatigue'":(
also: "Alors je suis heureux. Et toutes les etoiles rient doucement" awwww. this book makes my emotions dance.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Et aucune grande personne ne comprendra jamais que ca a tellement d'importance!

Mais ca, c'est d'accord (et je t'aime) (et si tu veux, s'il vous plait, dessine moi un mouton. <3)


Edit: s'il vous plait. s'il vous plait. s'il vous plait. je veux ce mouton. *cry*

...okay!...

humdedumdedum....
yuperdoodles!
well, i'm slightly less stressed than i was last night, which was a lot...probably cuz the calc ap is over. that test was inSANE! (and don't tell me i say that too much... >.<) it was really long. i thought it was gonna end at like...11:35, and then i recalculated, adding extra minutes sthat i thought we would waste, so i concluded it should be 11:50. but NO, it was 12:30. and i was really stressed during the last part cuz i had to go to lunch and i didn't want to be the only one late to history class...but then they let ust out of 5th! w00t. we so deserved it though, cuz we've been preparing for it for so long...i don't evern remember how to do regular math hwk anymore. oh well, tant pis!

yeps. i really don't feel like posting but i don't feel like doing anything else either, so i might as well. dopedo! today was teacher appreciation day, but all the teachers seemed really crabby. maybe we don't appreciate them enough. haha i take that back, ms. jockusch was smiling soooo much whenever i saw her. maybe its cuz she didnt have to teach. that says something about how much teachers love us. okay, now it is time to rant about my life. yay! first of all, why do i have stress from like, EVERYWHERE. i can't think of an aspect in my life that is not currently stressing me out. school is really stressful. hence, parents hate me. (well, also other reasons).

dance, even DANCE is stressing me out. ugh. i think the teachers need to not stress over recital. because they are! too much! its just the recital! its beautiful/sucky every year. nothing they can do to change it. its still gonna make me love it. god i love the recital. its not necesarily the quality of dance, it just...rocks. i love it. hmmmyeah back to stress. so far we have: school, parents, dance....yeah pretty much it. friends. but that relates to parents, and school i guess. okay yeah. so if i get pissy/snappy at you, please understand why. you don't have to forgive me, but you can at least understand.

oookay see ya later byezyall. that post probably made no sense....haha tough

...blargle...

i have a cold. its icky.
i have no idea when my french ap is.
but i know when my calc one is!
i went prom shopping today. and we found one dress that was perfect but a not so good color. and many that were okay colors but imperfect. oh well i theoretically have two other options. maybe i just need a clown outfit to match my red nose...
lala. nothing to write. except my english essays....